You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
