genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
