Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
