forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize