Everything about him screamed your future.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
