Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
