how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
