You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
