Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
