That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
