): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
