Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
