Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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