He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
