If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
