: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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