It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
