from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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