quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My penis needs a shock collar
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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