just tell him i said nine months
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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