Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
The beers last night were like the tears from god
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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