You work out of a Hotel?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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