Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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