summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
