what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
