it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Dignity is for republicans.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
