I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
