it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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