my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
