Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
