What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
