i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
