We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize
