just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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