...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
