How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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