My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Dick very happy bro
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
