It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
