The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
