hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
