Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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