just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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