hotel room ftw
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
