how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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