So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Redeem this text for a blowjob
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
