K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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