and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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