And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
