So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
