gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
